When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
