i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
