My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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