You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Randomize