I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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