considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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