yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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