I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
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