If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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