My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
