smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I'm too high and old for this...
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
