And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Randomize