I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
