I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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