ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize