Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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