She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
My bed smells like the plague
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
