dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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