there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
