Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
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