We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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