So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
