You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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