Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Randomize
