We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
