My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
