I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
