Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
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