Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
