let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
