Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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