You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
