i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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