I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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