on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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