Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
