Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
