Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
