Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Randomize
