I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
