you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
