Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
