May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
