You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
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