The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
