all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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