the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
