Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
