Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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