so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
