just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Randomize
