i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
