My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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