I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
