i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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