oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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