So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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