I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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