also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
