It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
